day 3.

this is when the real fun starts. last night's laxatives didn't kick in until 7 this morning, so i have a feeling work today is out of the question. (hard to drive around to customers when you have a handful of Dulcolax coursing through your system.) and today i get to start my liquid diet, yippee! i'm going to make a light breakfast in a sec so my body has some nutrients in it... but after that, nothing but broth and gatorade until about 6pm tomorrow night. great -- give the gal with low blood sugar a mandatory fast... let's see how early i go to the hospital tomorrow so i don't faint before the procedure. *sigh*

since i'm stuck home today, and the ex will be at work, hopefully i'll be able to get some stuff done. i have a ton of office work to catch up on... plus i have to do laundry. i offered to wash some towels and sheets so that the ex can take them when he moves... don't want to wait until the last minute to do that.

i'm thinking i should also nap a lot today. can't feel your stomach, or crashing blood sugar, when you're sleeping. sounds like a plan.

little angus has been talking all morning. he just walks around the apartment and chirps in these loud, high-pitched meows. i have no idea what he wants, i'm guessing he just likes the sound of his own voice. he's so silly.

relationship woes

ah, life can get so interesting.

the ex is moving out this weekend, and it's finally starting to hit me. over the last couple of days, i've found myself getting a teeny bit weepy at times. i don't want us to get back together, i know we are much better off as friends... but i guess it's just sad when you build a life with someone for several years, you have your in-jokes and all the other stuff that goes into the rhythm of your relationship, and *poof*! it's suddenly over. very, very sad.

of all things, this morning i got an IM from an old friend... we had a "friends with benefits" relationship for years when i first moved to boston... basically if we were both single and needy, we'd go out to dinner, and end up entangled and sweaty a few hours later. then one of us would get into a relationship, and we wouldn't see each other for a few months, a year, whatever... until we were both available again. well, lo and behold, my ex is moving out this weekend, and he just ended a several-year relationship himself. we haven't seen each other in 4 years, and he's invited me to dinner so we can catch up. i have such mixed feelings... it really would be nice to see him, he's a good guy and it's been a long time... but i have no desire to sleep with him anymore. i just want the friendship part. so i need to figure out if this is just dinner, or another installment of our old situation... because i don't want to have to fend him off. ugh.

in the meantime, i've been in close touch with the guy i had the coffee date with last week. he's such a sweetheart, totally chivalrous and so full of love. we're at that interesting point, though, where we're doing that getting-to-know-you dance... throw out a piece of info, see what the other person thinks of it... then they throw you one, and you decide whether it's something you can accept or not... one-two-three, one-two-three. there are a couple of things that give me pause, but i don't really have a right to judge. i mean, heck, i have my own baggage... (jesus, i practically have an entire matching set of louis vuitton.) we'll just have to continue to dance and see where the steps lead us.

(no subject)

so, i've discovered something today. Fleet's Phospho-Soda tastes like ass. i have to have 2 doses today, as if the dulcolax last night wasn't enough. the stuff is so nasty... it's ginger-lemon flavored, which is a crock. the stuff is flavored saline solution, and you mix it in a glass of gatorade. so you have the salty chemical taste from the gatorade, plus the salty taste from the phospho-soda... so basically you're choking down a big glass of thick, cold, salt water with a little lemon flavoring somewhere in there. and to make matters worse, you can't just chug the damn thing and be done with it... you have to drink it slowly over 20 minutes. halfway through the first glass, i was looking over at that thick liquid and gagging. literally. i'm not sure how i'm going to choke the second glass down an hour from now.

my blood sugar's been okay, knock on wood. had a few woozy moments a little while ago, but i breathed through them and drank some water, and they passed. the legs feel a little weak, but i can deal with it. i'm just hoping that i feel the same tomorrow morning, after 24 hours of not eating. i have to drink 3 glasses of water or gatorade after each of these phospho-soda doses, plus a big bowl of hot boullion (which is better than filet mignon if you haven't eaten all day), so i don't get dehydrated and faint... so at least that's helping to fill my stomach a bit.

i gave up trying to get a lot of work done today. i was worried about wearing myself out, after the woozy episodes. so i took a nap for a bit this afternoon, and spent some time reading ("bling", the book i got a few weeks ago, is crap... but dammit, i have to see how it ends now. i'm SO buying "sock" as soon as i'm done.). i think i'll go watch the evening news, and try napping again. ugh.