C-day...

12 hours from now, i will be home after my colonoscopy, hopefully inhaling a huge plate of shrimp saagwala from the excellent indian restaurant around the corner. YAY!

actually, i have to say, this whole experience hasn't turned out as bad as i thought it would. yes, the restricted diet for 4 days sucked. the dulcolax felt absolutely awful. and the liquid fast yesterday was a test of sheer willpower... at one point in the evening, i looked over at the ex playing videogames, and it was like in the cartoons where someone's stranded on an island and starving, and they look over at the other person and see a roasted chicken instead of a head. lol

i managed to choke down that second glass of liquid crap yesterday afternoon. the ex did a nice thing and brought home diet sprite for me, which tasted a whole lot better than the gatorade. i just kept diluting the mixture with sprite until i couldn't taste the salty medication part anymore. i'll tell you, diet sprite has been my best friend throughout all of this. i've been chugging it... had almost 2 liters yesterday alone.

the most surprising part has been my blood sugar. i fully expected that by this time, i'd be half-fainted on the couch. but it's held steady. who knows what i'll be like 12 hours from now, but at this moment i'm okay. which is very cool. and i get to look forward to the procedure itself... it'll be the most action i've had in almost 7 months. *chortle*

the cats have been total sweeties through all of this. they follow me from room to room, and when i settle down, they snuggle up against me and look up at me with their little fuzzy faces. it's like they know that i need the comfort. i love them so much.

T minus 2 hours...

...and counting.

so, i have to be at the hospital in 2 hours. and i'm thirsty as hell. like, i'm LUSTING after water. a big glass of water with crushed ice and a straw... ooohhhhh. but i can't drink anything until after the procedure, so i'll have to deal for a while longer.

there was actually a point yesterday where i had a brilliant idea... i was on that clear liquid diet all day, and i went to the convenience store down the street for some gatorade... and i looked at their wine display and thought, "hey, white wine is a clear liquid. i should be drinking that instead of gatorade, and with nothing in my stomach, i could probably sleep until next tuesday." *grin*

had a nice chat with my coffee-date-guy this morning. it was good to clear some stuff up and just say hi, since we'd only been on e-mail the last couple of days. he's such a good person... he was very concerned for me and this whole procedure thing today. it really warmed my heart. it reminds me of a boyfriend i had the summer before college, what was probably the best relationship i've ever had (even though it only lasted a couple of months). i got a raging cold, and was home sick on the sofa... and he showed up at my place, unannounced, with balloons, flowers, tissues, o.j., vitamins... this whole care package to make things all better. it's one of the most romantic things anyone's ever done for me. and my coffee guy seems to be the same kind of person... very selfless and loving, always concerned about how others are feeling instead of worrying about himself. it's so sweet, and made me want to reach out over the miles and give him the biggest hug ever. it's rare to have good people like that in your life.

off to flip the channels on the tv... now begins the waiting until i can head to the hospital. *sigh*.

last colon update! wahoo!

well... it's all done. *whew* got to the hospital at 1:30, after a minor freakout where i couldn't get a cab... there's a taxi stand 2 blocks from my place that always has 3 or 4 cabs waiting, but today, when i walked down there, there was no-one. shoot. i waited and looked around, and there was nary a cab to be found. weak from hunger, i struggled to summon up enough calories to power a couple of brain cells to figure out what to do. take the T? would take too long, i only had 1/2 hour to get there. walk 4 blocks in the opposite direction, and try to get a cab on mass ave? wasn't sure i had the energy, and there was no guarantee of a cab there. while i stood there having a small panicked seizure (fuckfuckfuckFUCKfuck), a cab came tooling around the corner, and i practically threw myself in traffic to flag him down. got to the hospital with one minute to spare.

during my trip, i was still having massive cravings for ice water. it was all-consuming. and when i got to the hospital, i swear to god, every single employee was carrying an iced latte or soda or something. everyone was walking around with big cups full of fluids that i wasn't allowed to have. *sob* and then i got in the elevator, and for 8 floors, the doctor standing behind me chewed ice out of a cup. i was listening to these deafening cold, slurpy, ice-crunchy sounds, and i wanted to tackle him for just one cube. but we both made it to our floor intact.

okay, i have to say, the people who work for the BI (beth israel hospital) are the nicest people, EVER. every single nurse and receptionist was an absolute doll. maybe it was becuse they could see the panic rising in my eyes, but regardless, they were really sweet and made the whole thing a lot less stressful. i had to change into like 50 layers of clothes -- scrub pants that tied in the back, then a johnny gown that tied in the back, then a robe over top of it all, and a pair of slipper socks. then they put in my IV, which always flips me out a little bit, so they let me lie down and one of the nurses held my hand while they did it. it wasn't necessary, i was a big girl and wouldn't have fainted or anything... but i was feeling kinda alone being there, and so the hand-holding was a comfort. they got the saline drip started (which did wonders for my woozy feeling, thank god!), and then brought me down the hall to the procedure room.

here, i was handed off to another team of really nice people. (nurse: "hi, i'm kim. i'll be your nurse this afternoon." me: "hi kim. i'll be your hiney this afternoon.") they got me settled on the bed/table thing, put oxygen tubes in my nose, and checked my pulse. then kim sat and chatted with me for a while until my doctor showed up. he said hi to me, told me he'd be ready in a minute, and kim said she'd start with a small dose of medication in my IV. the medication was supposed to mellow me out, like valium, so i could watch the monitor but not be uncomfortable (and i was really looking forward to watching it, it was the one thing i was going to find cool about the whole ordeal). so she put a little bit of stuff in my IV, and i told her it stung a little bit going into my hand.

then i woke up in the recovery room.

that was it... i have no recollection of the procedure itself. either i'm really sensitive to that sedative, or i screamed holy hell and they knocked me out to shut me up. (which is possible... amnesia is a side effect of the medication, so many people watch their procedure on the monitor and then don't remember it later.) i wasn't sore or anything, just a bit groggy from the sedative. my nurse offered me juice (ohYESohYESohYES), and i mentioned something in my hazy state about how i couldn't wait to get home because i'd been craving M&Ms for days. she disappeared for a sec, and then came back and placed something in my hand: 2 dark chocolate hershey's kisses. i almost cried. seriously.

the sedative wore off enough for me to leave after about 1/2 hour. davissquarecats came to see me home (i owe you a big dinner, babe), and after a few stops on the T we had to get out and call a cab because i felt a bit barfy. he was amazed at how mellow i was... i just felt kind of stoned. got home and didn't even eat, i laid down for a nap for about an hour to let the rest of the grogginess wear off. then i ordered me some MAJOR chinese food (the chinese place delivers, i'd have had to walk to get indian food like i'd wanted). an hour later, belly filled with rice sticks and crab rangoon, i am very happy. and my fortune, no lie, was this: "all the preparation you've done will finally pay off." i howled at that.

oh... and the swing dancing gods smiled down on me in my misery today, and finally delivered the sexy leopard-print dance shoes i'd ordered 2 months ago. *happy sigh*

the end.