monday morning blahs

[swingchickie]

woke up with a cold this morning. meh. i guess kissing your sick boyfriend and then spending the day out in the freezing cold isn't the best idea. let's see if i can get through the day if i pump myself full of advil cold & sinus...

had another dream about monkey last night, probably the most vivid one i've had yet. i was in graduate school but was also still working in my current job, and she showed up while i was in class one day and i scooped her up and started bawling because she was alive again. throughout the rest of the dream (and it was a long one), i was taking her around to my professors and my boss, cradled in my arms like a baby (which is how she always loved to be held)... sobbing with joy, saying to everyone "see???? she's back! she's back! i thought she was dead, i mean, i had her cremated!!! but she's alive!!!" ugh. i hate waking up from those dreams, i'm so upset now. grief sucks.

also a bit bummed because i weighed in for WW this morning and the scale is the same as last week. yesterday i was down almost another 2 pounds, but then jack and i had indian food for dinner and i think the salt is making me retain water. we'll see, i'll just look forward to next week.

Comments

[ms-violet.livejournal.com]

drink more water! pee all day! See how many times you can run screaming to the bathroom! That'll cheer you up.

I've had dreams like your monkey dream, or phases of dreams like your money dream. maybe, just maybe, there is an inner-child part of you that needs to be taken care of?

[swingchickie.livejournal.com]

yeah, i've been chugging the water this morning, trying to flush everything out of my system.

and yes, the inner-child thing is very possible... but i think a big part of it is just missing her terribly sometimes. i'd like to think that those dreams are a way of her saying to me "hey mom, i'm still here with you"... but deep down i know that it's my subconscious dealing with the fact that i never had the time to mourn her the way i should have. only a few hours after i came back from putting her to sleep, i got the call that i had been promoted and needed to move to philly, and 4 days later i was here. so instead of curling up into a ball and being a mess for a few weeks, i was immediately thrown into the whirlwind of a new job and packing and finding an apartment and all. which took my mind off of it a bit, but also smushed it deep down inside where it still surfaces once in a while.

[dear-amaranth.livejournal.com]

I really feel for you. I'm still not over the death of my first cat, Thena... she died years ago and I still can't think about her for very long or I start to tear up. I know grief is the price of love, but God, how it sucks.

I'm going to go cuddle my boys now.

Speaking of which, I can't recommend enough that a person own more than one pet at a time. It doesn't make you love either of them any less, but it really helps ease the pain of losing one when you're crying into the fur/feathers of another one that you love. (I say feathers because when it was Thena's time, my only other pet was a lovebird. But she nibbled my ear through the worst of it and it still helped. :)

[swingchickie.livejournal.com]

yeah, angus has been snorgled up one side and down the other since she passed away (it was 3 years just a few weeks ago). i've had many pets over the years, but monkey was like my little kitty soulmate... it was like losing a child when i had to let her go.

i've thought about getting another sibling for angus, but jack has 2 cats of his own... and if we ever live under the same roof, 4 cats would just be too overly stinky and cat-y in a little house.

[babyraven.livejournal.com]

Totally could be the salt. And if it is, no worries, you know it'll balance out next week.