awful, awful day.
Nov. 9th, 2006 06:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swingchickiethanks everyone who posted and/or called in reply to my last post. last night i had to say goodbye to a guy i really, really liked... someone i met a few weeks ago, who just made me feel attractive and smart and fun, and made me feel giddy every time i thought about him. it's been a long time since i got all schmoopy like this over someone, and it was a lot of fun. then he had to go and be a doofus and do something that hurt my feelings, enough that i had to say goodbye. and that really really sucked.
but that all pales in comparison to my day at work today. i found out this morning that one of the girls i taught this summer died over the weekend in a horrific car crash. she was one of my favorite trainees... she was the nicest person you'd ever want to meet, and smart, and so exotically beautiful. she always had a big smile on her face, even if she was stressed about her studies. and this past weekend, she, her husband, and their 14-month-old child died when their car jumped the median on the highway and burst into flames. and to make it even worse, she was 6 months pregnant. my clearest memory of her is the day she pulled me aside during a break in class, and whispered to me that she'd just found out she was expecting. she was green from the nausea, but absolutely beaming. and to think that this beautiful, wonderful girl and her family are all gone... well, i cried my eyes out in the ladies room and have been walking around just stunned ever since.
i'm sick, too, so it's making me even more weepy than usual. i'm just going to crawl under my blankets and cope until i fall asleep.
but that all pales in comparison to my day at work today. i found out this morning that one of the girls i taught this summer died over the weekend in a horrific car crash. she was one of my favorite trainees... she was the nicest person you'd ever want to meet, and smart, and so exotically beautiful. she always had a big smile on her face, even if she was stressed about her studies. and this past weekend, she, her husband, and their 14-month-old child died when their car jumped the median on the highway and burst into flames. and to make it even worse, she was 6 months pregnant. my clearest memory of her is the day she pulled me aside during a break in class, and whispered to me that she'd just found out she was expecting. she was green from the nausea, but absolutely beaming. and to think that this beautiful, wonderful girl and her family are all gone... well, i cried my eyes out in the ladies room and have been walking around just stunned ever since.
i'm sick, too, so it's making me even more weepy than usual. i'm just going to crawl under my blankets and cope until i fall asleep.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 01:56 am (UTC)I know how queer this is but .... ::hugs::
Death and dudes
Date: 2006-11-10 05:12 am (UTC)I find death interesting, in that I always feel such great sorrow for what those who have died, have/are missing out on... poorly said (re-read, my point is in there somehow) but I do always come back to what we, the people who are left behind, have lost. I've experienced very close, very intense deaths of people for who even after 20+ years still aches in my heart. This favorite trainee, she affected you, she gifted you with her presence (and you in hers) and that's a beautiful thing. Weep and feel sick about her loss and then make it important... also realize that you affect others, just as you are right now, like this woman affected you. You're an amazingly wonderful person to me, as this woman was to you!
The boy thing, yeah, sometime we have to let them go and it sucks but hold on to the important stuff, like how attractive and smart and fun *you are* (drop the boy, take the good parts, didn't Maya Ange-somebody say that?), you're all those things, even without *this* boy. He wasn't the right boy (but getting close, right?).
Death and the Wrong Boy are not helping your health/immune system. Hibernate, weep, smother Angus with love and cleanse your spirit, be kind and gentle with yourself. We're here for you!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 05:14 am (UTC)I am so sorry about the loss of the trainee. How very very sad. In some way, I hope this inspires people to cherish what they have/ not take things for granted.
Hope you feel better and find some peace.
I'm so very sorry
Date: 2006-11-10 02:04 pm (UTC):(
Please take care of yourself, and give yourself time and space to grieve.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 05:46 pm (UTC)Sounds to me like you've got lots of people to lean on already - but my shoulders and ears are available should you have want or need of them.