file under "WTF???"

several people have told me today that i smell lovely.

i smell like "hollywood", an old-school discontinued perfume i had re-created for me in boston.

but i didn't put any perfume on this morning.

so i have no idea why i smell like this.

and the freakiest part is...

the smell's been getting stronger as the day wears on...

*insert spooky music here*

*sigh*. what is my problem?

wow, am i down. like, really, really down. maybe it's the work stress catching up with me, i dunno. but i just want to crawl into bed and not come out for a few days.

it hit me today that valentine's day is in a couple of weeks, and i have nothing to do. and for some reason, it hit me really hard. i've had plenty of valentine's days where i wasn't dating anyone, and it was never a big whoop. but this time it's completely bummed me out. the funny thing is, i'm not exactly on a manhunt at the moment... god knows i don't have the time right now to commit to someone who'd deserve it... so i'm not sure why i'd be casual about starting a relationship, and yet sad that i'm not in one.

even funnier in all this is that i've recently rejected some seemingly really nice guys on yahoo. just today, i got a message from a guy who lives near me... attractive, owns his own business, loved my profile and was really interested in meeting. my reply? something along the lines of "thanks, but i noticed in your profile that you're looking for a woman who's slender... and i have a big ass, so we wouldn't be a good match, best of luck". completely shot him down before he met me... or, i guess, shot him down before he could shoot me down after seeing the aforementioned big ass.

*sigh*. i have no right to feel unloved, when i'm not allowing anyone the chance to love me. what the hell is my deal? i'm just going to head to bed, and hope that when i get up in the morning i'm in a cheerier mood. and that maybe i'll forget about valentine's day until it's over.