vacation day

okay, i didn't really take a vacation day today. although i should have... i have one skippable meeting on my calendar, and the rest is catch-up work. which i want to catch up on so that i'm not scrambling the rest of the week like i was the last two. i put "vacation day" because i left the office at 6pm yesterday, and had no work to do when i came home... so i really felt like i had this huge break, when all it really was was the regular evening most normal people get to experience. :)

so, last night was a "me night". cheesesteak for dinner (i threw the menu out because having a pizza joint in the basement is TOO tempting every day), bubble bath, beauty magazines and my favorite simply red CD on the stereo. heaven. and i woke up this morning without this feeling of panic washing over me, the panic of "i have no idea how i'm going to get all my work done today"... and i actually got teary-eyed from the feeling of relief. oh PLEASE let tonight be the same... maybe i'll find somewhere to go out tonight, and feel like i'm really living large. :)

had a great IM chat with my new karaoke friend last night. we had an interesting discussion about dating, specifically, casually dating multiple people. it's funny -- i think it's cool when other people do it, as long as everyone knows about everyone and it's done in a mature way and all... but i just can't. it brought back memories of my mid-20s, when i was so insecure and felt like having a boyfrirend validated me... there were a few times over the years when i tried dating more than one person, but it wasn't good. i was just so happy that someone found me attractive and wanted to spend time with me... but then as time would go on, the casual relationships would start moving towards not-so-casual, and each person would want to move to "boyfriend status", and i had developed feelings for each of them and didn't want to choose. so i'd end up feeling really guilty and thinking i was a total jerk, and it was worse for me emotionally than if i had just not dated anyone.

*sigh* i guess that stop on the dating continuum is not for me. there are 2 categories i'm comfortable in: 1. the purely "friends with benefits" thing, where there's no emotional strings attached and if one party starts dating someone, you stop hanging out; and 2. the exclusive relationship, where you can focus on that one person and discovering them and giving them the chance to discover the real you as well. do i wish i could do the serial dating thing? sure i do. god knows i could use the ego boost right now. but i also wish i could use the size 8 jeans in my closet. neither one is a good fit.

if i have the night off, WHAT SHOULD I DO TONIGHT??? aaaiiiiieeeeee!!!!!

my big night out...

...consisted of getting kitty litter and pork chops at the acme on the way home from work. it is hella COLD outside, plus my butt has to be up at 4:45 tomorrow to be at work by 6:45. which equals no going out for me. so i did the bubble bath thing, and am about to head to bed. thank god my bed is awesome... i need a new mattress in the next year or so, but besides that it is rocking my world. those super-soft new sheets... the warm and cozy down comforter... i absolutely love going to sleep in this thing.

so, let's talk about how psyched i am for my end-of-year vacation in 2 weeks!!!! w00t!!!!!! i'm spending almost half of it in boston... i got a room at the park plaza for a few nights, and i plan on shopping my ass off all day (it's right near the upscale retail mecca of newbury street, for the non-bostonians) and partying with my friends all night. and thrown in for good measure will be some amazing bubble baths in a tub that is much better than the straight-backed torture device in my bathroom here. perhaps with... is it too decadent? something from finale brought up to my room. (maybe not... my head would explode from the joy of it.) new year's weekend will be at the annual huge dance weekend bill cameron's throwing... no karaoke party this year 'cause i couldn't get a room in the hotel *weep*, but there will still be much dancing and much more champagne and the debut of a kick-ass fun, sparkly outfit i just got. yay!

off to bed, kiddos... *smooch*