vacation day
Dec. 6th, 2005 06:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swingchickieokay, i didn't really take a vacation day today. although i should have... i have one skippable meeting on my calendar, and the rest is catch-up work. which i want to catch up on so that i'm not scrambling the rest of the week like i was the last two. i put "vacation day" because i left the office at 6pm yesterday, and had no work to do when i came home... so i really felt like i had this huge break, when all it really was was the regular evening most normal people get to experience. :)
so, last night was a "me night". cheesesteak for dinner (i threw the menu out because having a pizza joint in the basement is TOO tempting every day), bubble bath, beauty magazines and my favorite simply red CD on the stereo. heaven. and i woke up this morning without this feeling of panic washing over me, the panic of "i have no idea how i'm going to get all my work done today"... and i actually got teary-eyed from the feeling of relief. oh PLEASE let tonight be the same... maybe i'll find somewhere to go out tonight, and feel like i'm really living large. :)
had a great IM chat with my new karaoke friend last night. we had an interesting discussion about dating, specifically, casually dating multiple people. it's funny -- i think it's cool when other people do it, as long as everyone knows about everyone and it's done in a mature way and all... but i just can't. it brought back memories of my mid-20s, when i was so insecure and felt like having a boyfrirend validated me... there were a few times over the years when i tried dating more than one person, but it wasn't good. i was just so happy that someone found me attractive and wanted to spend time with me... but then as time would go on, the casual relationships would start moving towards not-so-casual, and each person would want to move to "boyfriend status", and i had developed feelings for each of them and didn't want to choose. so i'd end up feeling really guilty and thinking i was a total jerk, and it was worse for me emotionally than if i had just not dated anyone.
*sigh* i guess that stop on the dating continuum is not for me. there are 2 categories i'm comfortable in: 1. the purely "friends with benefits" thing, where there's no emotional strings attached and if one party starts dating someone, you stop hanging out; and 2. the exclusive relationship, where you can focus on that one person and discovering them and giving them the chance to discover the real you as well. do i wish i could do the serial dating thing? sure i do. god knows i could use the ego boost right now. but i also wish i could use the size 8 jeans in my closet. neither one is a good fit.
if i have the night off, WHAT SHOULD I DO TONIGHT??? aaaiiiiieeeeee!!!!!
so, last night was a "me night". cheesesteak for dinner (i threw the menu out because having a pizza joint in the basement is TOO tempting every day), bubble bath, beauty magazines and my favorite simply red CD on the stereo. heaven. and i woke up this morning without this feeling of panic washing over me, the panic of "i have no idea how i'm going to get all my work done today"... and i actually got teary-eyed from the feeling of relief. oh PLEASE let tonight be the same... maybe i'll find somewhere to go out tonight, and feel like i'm really living large. :)
had a great IM chat with my new karaoke friend last night. we had an interesting discussion about dating, specifically, casually dating multiple people. it's funny -- i think it's cool when other people do it, as long as everyone knows about everyone and it's done in a mature way and all... but i just can't. it brought back memories of my mid-20s, when i was so insecure and felt like having a boyfrirend validated me... there were a few times over the years when i tried dating more than one person, but it wasn't good. i was just so happy that someone found me attractive and wanted to spend time with me... but then as time would go on, the casual relationships would start moving towards not-so-casual, and each person would want to move to "boyfriend status", and i had developed feelings for each of them and didn't want to choose. so i'd end up feeling really guilty and thinking i was a total jerk, and it was worse for me emotionally than if i had just not dated anyone.
*sigh* i guess that stop on the dating continuum is not for me. there are 2 categories i'm comfortable in: 1. the purely "friends with benefits" thing, where there's no emotional strings attached and if one party starts dating someone, you stop hanging out; and 2. the exclusive relationship, where you can focus on that one person and discovering them and giving them the chance to discover the real you as well. do i wish i could do the serial dating thing? sure i do. god knows i could use the ego boost right now. but i also wish i could use the size 8 jeans in my closet. neither one is a good fit.
if i have the night off, WHAT SHOULD I DO TONIGHT??? aaaiiiiieeeeee!!!!!
