swingchickie | monkey

monkey's not well again... and this time i'm a bit scared. after her dental surgery a couple of weeks ago, her vet called to tell me that her urinalysis had shown a small bladder infection... but the antibiotics she was taking after the surgery would knock it out. so last friday i took her in for her follow-up visit... and the infection was worse. a lot worse. so they gave her a different antibiotic, and did a urine culture to see what the bacteria was. i got a call from the vet last night... it's strep. which is really rare for a bladder infection, and more aggressive than the other usual bacteria. so she's now on 2 different antibiotics to try to kill this thing, plus painkillers because she's hurting so much.

i'm not taking this well at all. i should be fine, considering all my late-night visits to the animal ER last year. but for some reason, this is hitting me really hard. i have this awful feeling that she's going to die from this... that the strep's not going to go away, and it's going to eat her from the inside out and she'll be gone in a couple of weeks. i mean, for all i know she'll be fine and live another 10 years. but she's 11 now, and i'm very aware of the fact that she's getting old and she's going to be gone at some point. and god, i'll just be so lost without her... she's my baby, the absolute love of my life.

so, i'm trying to be positive... giving her all her meds, watching her behavior and checking the litterbox (and bed)... but there are moments when the worry hits me and i go to pieces. last night i woke up at 1am and she was snuggled up in my arms, purring... and i just started crying and crying, wondering how many more nights i'm going to get to snuggle with her. and i'm actually looking at getting a video camera, so that i can tape her a little bit... so i'll always have an image of her fiesty personality when she's gone someday. hopefully that day isn't anytime soon. *sigh*.