and THIS is why i hated WW meetings.

[swingchickie]

when i tried WW all those times before (probably 5 or 6 times over the course of my adult life), one of the main reasons i didn't do well is because the meetings were a pain in the ass. for some people they're a lifeline... for me, i hated having to schedule myself to take 90 minutes out of my day to drive somewhere, weigh in, and then sit with a group of strangers and listen to them complain about wanting to eat a gallon of ice cream every night.

doing the online version of WW has been a big contributor to my success because i can do everything on my own and according to my schedule. but the WW bulletin boards are just as bad as the meetings -- post after post from people who go through life with this victim-y, "woe is me" mentality. hell, i have my self-pitying moments too... in all my previous attempts, i had lapses that sent me into the loving embrace of a bag of fritos with a vat of onion dip, and afterwards i'd be terrified that i'd never find my way back to eating right (and sometimes didn't for many months). so i get it. but when that attitude infuses your entire life, when it becomes almost a mantra, a constant excuse, a crutch, it just annoys the hell out of me. the posts over the thanksgiving week were especially bad:

poster: "waaaah, we're doing thanksgiving at my mother-in-law's and she never makes anything helthy and i'm going to eat until i burst and fail at my eating plan.."
reply: "why not just control how much of the bad stuff you eat, or offer to cook some healthy dishes, or exercise this week to burn some extra points you can use?"
poster: "no, none of those will work, you don't understand, it's so haaaarrrrdddddd..."

poster: "i hate the Core way of eating, and it's hurting my family life... having to eat low-fat beef, whole-wheat pasta... there are restaurants i have to tell them we can't go to... and my whole family hates me for it..."
reply: "if you didn't tell your family that the beef was low-fat or the pasta was different, they wouldn't even know... and you can go to any restaurant you want if you just make good choices off the menu..."
poster: "no, you just don't understand, this is so hard and i'm not going to listen to any of your suggestions because it's easier for me to wallow in self-pity than make decisions that could have a positive effect..."

sigh.

again, i know we all have our bad moments. a few of us here on LJ are all struggling, and we're all being human. but none of us are like some of these WW board people, with their dozens of complainy posts a day.

i've also been watching the show "ruby" for the past few weeks... if you haven't heard of it, it's a reality show that follows a woman named ruby who weighs 500 pounds and is trying to lose weight. i admire her for making this really hard decision, and i know it's a lot of work... but watching her on the show has really shown me what i must sound like sometimes as i go through my own struggles. many times over the course of each episode, she complains about food -- how much she misses eating macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, buying a bag of fudge at her favorite candy store... she's obsessed with junk food, and it's unnerving to watch. it's made me much more sensitive to my talk about food, and i've been trying to cut down how much i talk about WW and weight loss (except for you poor people who get to read about it) because i'm seeing just how annoying it can be.

okay, that's enough of a rant for now... back to the WW boards to see what drama is playing out today.

Comments

[babyraven.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. I love my meetings, personally, and that's partially because most of the people who are there are really positive. The ones that aren't I know won't last in the program long, so I just ignore them until they go away. ;)

[opadit.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the WW meetings and online boards are making you feel much the same way I feel when I hear fellow law students complain about the workload and how little free time they have. Not to play the single mom card, but honestly: if I can get through with a decent GPA and have a little bit of time on the side for dates, I don't know what these 23-year-olds are complaining about.

[xtingu]

Raarrrrghrhghgggh! I hear you sister.

Richard Simmons, bless his purple sequined heart, would make his Deal-a-Meal disciples (of which I was one) repeat: "Nobody has control over what I eat. I hold the fork." With that statement, I was immediately disarmed: I couldn't blame my giant ass on my mother, my Italian "eat it all!" upbringing, stress, co-workers bringing in cupcakes, whatever... I hold the damn fork. Nobody is tying me up and force-feeding me cheesecake. (though, hmmmmm....) It's up to me. If I don't want to eat the crap they serve on the plane, I can bring a sammich.

[(Anonymous)]

I know *exactly* what you're talking about. Instead of working to change their lifestyle to a healthy sustainable one, they work their asses off at trying to trick the system. You know, you can eat Skinny Cows with 15g of fake fiber all day long, or you could choose to eat real food that will nourish your body in a way that will make you thrive. You are not entitled to lose weight if you're eating crap, even if it's diet crap.

The Core boards on WW tended to be a bit better because they mostly "got" the idea of healthy eating and strove to make it work for them. But there were whiny crybabies on there as well. I just gave up posting.

[ms-violet.livejournal.com]

You are doing a great job. The reasons you described are the reasons that I avoid the message boards, but I love all the little planners and trackers.

My current problem is, I FUCKING LOVE A GOOD CARBOHYDRATE BUZZ. IT IS CRAAAACK. I ADMIT IT, I OWN IT. and then I get into things like xtingu said, "I'm the one who can choose to shove a banana down my throat and ask questions later."

You are the kind of person who can make choices and follow them. You have a lot of strength. Sometimes with whiners, they don't want a strategy. I've learned to say, "help me think my way through this," or steer myself straight to the bowl of apples and chomp one down as fast as possible. Some of these people don;t want to make that choice, and they may have a way to go yet before they bottom out.
You are doing the right thing.

[ms-violet.livejournal.com]

I am taking this message very seriously.

[xtingu]

Here's the whole Richard Simmons Project Me mantra. Much of it is a bit Stuart Smalley for my taste, but for the most part, it's pretty neat.

--------------
Project Me is a little card you carry in your pocket/purse/with you at all times whenever you feel weak or need a boost you pull out your card and read from your passport:

1. I admit I love food and I am addicted to it.
2. My weight bothers me and I know its not healthy.
3. I am overweight for the most part because I overeat and don't exercise enough.
4. I have blamed many people and many things for my fat, but I must admit I am to blame. I hold the fork.
5. I forgive those who have made fun of me, judged me or put me down because of my weight.
6. I forgive myself and forget about all the times I tried before.
7. Today I will make time for myself, I will eat healthy and I will exercise.
8. I will not ignore, hide from or avoid food. I will face food and not lean on it.
9. I realize food has no power and will never solve any of my problems-- past, present or future.
10. I will be patient with myself and will not become compulsive and obsessed with losing weight and exercising.
11. If I didn't do great yesterday, I will try harder today.
12. I will take a daily inventory and be truthful with myself.
13. I know now there are no easy ways to do this. I know the only way to achieve my goal is through exercise, eating healthy and staying motivated.
14. I will use my sense of humor today, for it heals loneliness, depression, insecurity and boredom.
15. This time I am doing this FOR ME.
16. I am a terrific person and I like myself right now, no matter what I weigh.
17. The next time I have a craving for anything I know is fattening or am tempted not to exercise, I will think about the new me, and I will be strong.
18. I will look in the mirror and say "I'm going to have a great day!"
19. I have a very positive outlook about my life.
20. I am doing it! I am going all the way!
21. I AM WORTH IT!

[swingchickie.livejournal.com]

You are the kind of person who can make choices and follow them. You have a lot of strength.

ohhhhhhh no i'm not! right now i happen to have found a good combination of factors that make these changes enjoyable... but i've gone through my share of choosing something and then promptly bagging it. i just quit a gym membership that i haven't used in over a year (!!!)... and this is the umpteenth "diet" i've done over the course of my life, when all those other times have failed. hell, i had a chapter in that weight-loss book in 2001, and the weight i was at the very beginning when i sat in the author's office and bawled about how fat i was is a weight i would kill to be at right now (yes, i gained it back plus another 30).

we all have things that we want to do that are too tough to follow through on, i just happen to have found my combo of things i enjoy and it's working well. but all those times that i didn't succeed, i admitted it was hard but didn't blame a million external factors on it -- "i'm never going to lose weight because the gym i joined has very limited hours and i can't get there in time after work" -- i admitted to myself that that particular thing wasn't working for me ("i'm choosing to not to my gym because its hours don't fit into my schedule and i don't want to be on the treadmill next to a skinny co-worker and i hate treadmills and stairmasters"), and just tried something else.

and whoa, do i know what you mean about a good carb buzz. amazingly, on core my blood sugar has evened out even though i'm still eating carbs (all whole-grain ones though), so i don't get any spikes from a regular meal. but the times i've had just a bite of chocolate or a taste of someone's full-sugar dessert, *ZING*!!! every pleasure receptor in my body immediately springs to action. it's scary.

the biggest thing i didn't expect: my moods are more even. i've heard that poor nutrition can add to depression and mood swings and stuff, but i didn't think that was the case with me (i was feeling down a lot over the last year or so)... but the other day it hit me that in the last 8 weeks, i've not only gained more energy but i'm not as down anymore. whaddaya know.

[ms-violet.livejournal.com]

Re: the mood thing: I am not going to quote this biochemical factoid 100% correctly, but it has a kernel of truth in it.

people who are low on serotonin are more likely to overeat on carbs to try to make up for it. this also happens to people who are trying to quit smoking and people who have low thyroid function. it's trying to find your happy chemical and trying to find your energy chemical at the same time. by lessening your use of carbs, you are cutting your dependence on them (which you know) so your body can make more happy chemicals on its own.

I just say this in an attempt to offer more encouragement.

on that note, I have to go zonk myself out for 2 hours so I can be effective tonight and not have to suck down a gallon of coffee while overthinking these kids.

[ms-violet.livejournal.com]

printing this out and putting it up on the wall... la la la la la, THANK YOU....