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major rant coming...
May. 31st, 2004 09:03 amokay, something came up in conversation last night that totally got me steamed. it's something i've thought about on and off over the last year, and now that it's back in my mind i'm really pissed about it... so i figured i should just do the therapeutic thing and post it here.
i am really amazed at the lack of manners we have in our society anymore. maybe that's not the right term for what's in my mind... but let me give you two examples.
1. last spring, i bought a new computer. my old one was fine, but i had just come in to a bit of cash and wanted to upgrade. i was going to donate the old one to the boston public school system... they're strapped for cash, and they can always use computers. plus it would be a tax writeoff for me. i had contacted someone from the school system, and they were interested in it... but in the meantime, a friend of mine found out that i was donating it, and asked if a guy he works with could have it instead. the guy was, i believe, an intern, and was broke and didn't have a computer. so i figured okay, and instead i gave the computer to my friend to give to this guy. i gave him a flat-screen computer with DVD drive, a CD burner, scanner, and all the software i've ever bought for it.
to this day, a year later, the guy who got all this stuff has never thanked me for it. i paid thousands of dollars for all of it, i gave it to him for free (and lost the tax writeoff in the process), and he didn't even have the manners to say thanks. if it were me, i would have passed along a card with a starbucks gift card in it, or just SOMETHING. but not even an e-mail???? jesus christ. and the thing is, if i say something to my friend about the guy, then i look like an ass, 'cause it looks like i gave that stuff to him expecting something in return.
2. similar thing happened to me recently. a friend is applying to a presigious graduate school program, and was pulling everything together last-minute a few weeks ago. i offered to write him a letter of recommendation, because he didn't know who to ask. he said that would be great. so i spent several evenings working on this letter, because he's a friend and not a co-worker (it takes a lot of thought and energy to write a professional recommendation for someone you don't work with). he hadn't filled out the top part of the form before he gave it to me, so i couldn't mail it... instead we had to go back and forth trying to meet up so he could sign everything and then i could send it in for him. finally he met up with me, signed it all, and said "cool, thanks" and that was it.
so, am i nuts for being annoyed that i never got a proper thank-you? again, not even an e-mail saying "hey, i know that took a lot of time and effort and i appreciate it"? i was raised to really appreciate what people do for me, and when people don't do the same i feel very taken advantage of. i'm just at the point where i don't want to do anything for anyone anymore, if people are going to act so entitled about it. it's not worth my energy or my sanity.
grrrrrrrrrr.
i am really amazed at the lack of manners we have in our society anymore. maybe that's not the right term for what's in my mind... but let me give you two examples.
1. last spring, i bought a new computer. my old one was fine, but i had just come in to a bit of cash and wanted to upgrade. i was going to donate the old one to the boston public school system... they're strapped for cash, and they can always use computers. plus it would be a tax writeoff for me. i had contacted someone from the school system, and they were interested in it... but in the meantime, a friend of mine found out that i was donating it, and asked if a guy he works with could have it instead. the guy was, i believe, an intern, and was broke and didn't have a computer. so i figured okay, and instead i gave the computer to my friend to give to this guy. i gave him a flat-screen computer with DVD drive, a CD burner, scanner, and all the software i've ever bought for it.
to this day, a year later, the guy who got all this stuff has never thanked me for it. i paid thousands of dollars for all of it, i gave it to him for free (and lost the tax writeoff in the process), and he didn't even have the manners to say thanks. if it were me, i would have passed along a card with a starbucks gift card in it, or just SOMETHING. but not even an e-mail???? jesus christ. and the thing is, if i say something to my friend about the guy, then i look like an ass, 'cause it looks like i gave that stuff to him expecting something in return.
2. similar thing happened to me recently. a friend is applying to a presigious graduate school program, and was pulling everything together last-minute a few weeks ago. i offered to write him a letter of recommendation, because he didn't know who to ask. he said that would be great. so i spent several evenings working on this letter, because he's a friend and not a co-worker (it takes a lot of thought and energy to write a professional recommendation for someone you don't work with). he hadn't filled out the top part of the form before he gave it to me, so i couldn't mail it... instead we had to go back and forth trying to meet up so he could sign everything and then i could send it in for him. finally he met up with me, signed it all, and said "cool, thanks" and that was it.
so, am i nuts for being annoyed that i never got a proper thank-you? again, not even an e-mail saying "hey, i know that took a lot of time and effort and i appreciate it"? i was raised to really appreciate what people do for me, and when people don't do the same i feel very taken advantage of. i'm just at the point where i don't want to do anything for anyone anymore, if people are going to act so entitled about it. it's not worth my energy or my sanity.
grrrrrrrrrr.
