oh... god.

[swingchickie]

monkey may be dying.

i took her to the ER the other morning, because she wasn't acting right... would only eat a few bites of food at a time, and spent all day and night hiding under the bed. the ER vet examined her and said her kidneys felt a bit odd, but everything else seemed normal. she did a blood draw, and said she'd call with the results.

i got the blood results, and her post-antibiotic (from the previous UTI) urine results on the same day. there was blood in her urine, and a slightly elevated white cell count in her blood. her regular vet wanted her kidneys ultrasounded, to see if she had a secondary infection from all the UTIs she struggled with over the last couple of months. so i dropped her and angus off at the big hospital (where the ER is), to be boarded while i'm home in philly, and monkey could get her ultrasound done today while she was there.

the vet called me just now, and she sounded really awful in that hesitant doctor-who-hates-giving-really-bad-news way. it looks like lymphoma, she said, and they're going to aspirate her kidneys to check for cancer cells. i won't know until the end of next week when the results come back... but if it really is cancer, according to the research i've done, she doesn't have much longer to live.

god. god. god. god. god.

i can barely function right now. the thought of this is terrifying me... not having her in my life anymore. last night, she climbed up into bed with me, hunkered down behind me, put her little fuzzy arm around my neck, and purred in my ear until i fell asleep. how do i go on without her?

Comments

[shanabanana.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry hon. My dog has a slow growing but persistent cancer, and I know that some day (probably soon) I'm going to get the word from the doc that she only has a short time. Take care of yourself and give her a hug from me and Sadie.

[swingchickie.livejournal.com]

thank you, sweetie. *hug* i think what makes this worse is that i'm heading out of town tomorrow... i sure would love to be here and have her home and hug the hell out of her, you know?

i'll keep my fingers crossed for sadie as well...

oh no!

[katehaney.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry. I wish there were some way that I could help, but I know from my own experience that all I can do is be here if you need a hug or an ear (or baby therapy -- there's always baby therapy).

I'll be sending the best possible karma Monkey's way.

Re: oh no!

[swingchickie.livejournal.com]

thanks hon. yes, maybe when i'm back in town a little baby therapy wouldn't hoit. (although if by "baby therapy" you mean changing diapers, i think i'm all set. *grin*)

defining baby therapy

[katehaney.livejournal.com]

No, changing diapers would be Mommy therapy. Baby therapy is when you get to hold a chortling, warm (ok, occasionally thrashing wildly) lump o' baby 'til your heart feels better.

Or just watch a chortling, warm, thrashing lump o' baby. Your choice.